One of my greatest annoyances and pet peeves in life is this. I hate it when people (not to be confused with hating people) who don’t really like me act like they do like me. Honesty is the best policy far as I’m concerned.
Now, this being said, I can understand why they do so. It comes down to one or all of two reasons far as I can tell. Either they feel like they should like me because they feel and think that it’s good to like and love all people, or they have some and probably too great a sense of pride, which tells them that they’re better than disliking anyone, and that “you’re supposed to love everyone including your enemies” no longer needs to be taught to them because they don’t have any enemies. The reality with the second is that many times this is a blind view that the devil loves us to have; the reality is that they really do have enemies.
The first reason is admirable, but still at a fault. The second is foolish and unfortunate. The fault with the first is that God doesn’t tell us to like everybody. Jesus had plenty of people that He didn’t like; the Pharisees, the retailers of the temple, and I’d imagine the Romans, just to name a few. But, while He didn’t like them, He still loved them. He died for them as well. As disagreeable as it may seem, Jesus died for Hitler and Stalin too.
Jesus actually made some people dislike Him by loving them. I’ll let you read up on that one though. My bigger point is that being loving doesn’t mean being likable, at least not always. Of course we should strive to be at peace with all men (Romans 12 I believe), but not at the expense of honesty. This being said, I do know of a verse in the bible where it says that “God sent a lying spirit…” which means that He is sovereign and there may be exceptions, which means that what I’ve said may not be absolute. At the same time, God is God and He knows morality and perfection (and wisdom) better than you do.
Honesty is the best policy, and here’s one logic as to the reasons why. A bad man who is honest with himself and others will, perhaps through trials and pain or through wisdom and following, eventually want to change. This is because God has put in each of us an inner sense of morality, of what is good and what is bad. Furthermore, He has made us feel more compelled to do good.
A good man who is honest with himself will one, but humbled by seeing what faults he does have (and being receptive to being humbled), and two, people will naturally like him more because he is good, because he is real, and because he has character (which produces hope).
So either way, honesty is a good thing. Is honesty always pleasurable? No. Is confessing our sins to one another fun? No. Is confessing our sins to God fun? Not at all. But is it good? Yes. I believe that honesty is directly from God, and that it’s ends are always good. Do unto others as you’d have them do to you. Love your neighbor as yourself. Be honest, first with yourself and then with others.
One last point I shall make. Me bringing this up is not out of some desperate need to be loved by some one, as some may assume it is. It is not spurned by immaturity and sensitivity, but rather by injustice and hopefully wisdom. I don’t need you to love me because I know and love the One who loves me more than you ever could. He shall supply all my needs. I do, however, want you to like and love me, and I do my best to like and love you.