I look inside myself and I find this new need to be
constantly distracted- with something. It could be video games or a tv show or
funny images on the Internet, but whatever it is, it's a tool to silence the
way I really feel and what I'm thinking.
And it's not a way to live. It's a way to die. It's a way to
wither and shrivel- to acknowledge that there is a problem but take no time to
mend it. It's like using air freshener to drown out the smell of smoke filling
your house. Sure, it's possible that you'll remove the smell that reminds you
of the fire, but the fire will continue to burn your house down and everything
will be lost.
But our hope is this- that we have a God that is big enough
and strong enough and loud enough to get our attention and wake us up, and He
can give us his Spirit so that we have the strength to fight the fires of our
hearts and our relationships and our world.
Really though, this is shallow. This idea that God needs us
to cooperate in order to save us.
He doesn't.
He is strong enough and loving enough to save us from our
fires without us even asking- though I think that sometimes He wants us to ask.
He wants what is best for us and what's best for us is Him, but we get so
self-focused that when God saves us, we credit ourselves. And the worst part of
that isn't even that we are proud and arrogant and ignorant, or even that we're
lying to ourselves. The worst part is that when we relocate and the new house
catches on fire, we won't ask for help and we won't trust Him and we will miss
out on how amazing He really is. The worst part is that we pass an opportunity
to be intimate with the God of everything.
And it's such a sadness that God shows His kindness and we
are so blind as to think that we are good and we are capable in and of ourselves.
I assure you that the other bad part of self-focus is grief.
When we focus on ourselves too much and too long, we realize how incapable and
small we are, and that's a helpless and hopeless thought- to think that you
can't fix others and you can't even fix you. To look inside and know that you
can't save yourself.
But God is and was, and is coming to the proud and the
broken and those in burning houses, and He is rescuing. If your heart can't
believe that and your soul still aches and you question all that I
write...well, I still won't worry about you. God is not in need of your
request, your belief, nor your approval in order to show loving kindness to you
and bless you and saturate you in the goodness that chases you.
And so I will love you and He will save you, and one
day...well, one day there will be no more fires and no depression and no
distractions. One day we will simply live and love and grow warm in His house,
and He will prevent fires and make our food and reign as we worship.
And that is a comforting thought.
